Monday, June 10, 2013

Just Don't

The other day I stumbled across something in the newsletter of a literary agency.  I read it with dismay and a little bit of hurt, and a very large amount of frustration cascaded through me.  So, I went to Facebook and posted my frustration for pretty much everyone to see.

How unfair.  How utterly shitty.  Oh woe is me.  And a big huge helping of WTF for the literary agenting community.

I deleted it an hour later once I realized what I'd done.  Could be no one saw it.  Could be a boatload of agents saw it and their form rejections will be rolling in any time now. 

No one likes a whiner.  They certainly don't like it when you publicly display your annoyance.  The quickest way to get yourself labeled as someone who'd be a pain in the ass to work with is to post something like that to Facebook or Twitter or any other social media site.

I knew better.  In my defense, the little snippet from that newsletter caught me unaware so I didn't have time to steel myself against it.  I wasn't expecting it to slap me upside the face so I slapped back.  Now, don't worry.  I didn't get snotty and I didn't name names.  I didn't call names either.  I just expressed my frustration in a vague and meaningless way.

Still... Just don't do it.  Yeah, life's unfair.  This business may or may not be more unfair than the rest of life, but it is what it is.  Sometimes you're going to get slapped down from an unexpected source.  Guess what?  If you ever want to get published by someone other than yourself, you have to suck it up and take every slap they aim your way (and a few no one aimed but that hit you anyway).

So, have you ever vented your frustrations publicly?  How'd that work for you?  If not, how does holding it all in work for you? 

6 comments:

  1. Great post!

    Unfortunately an important lesson we've probably all learned (and relearned) at some point.

    I actually have a big problem with certain agents and editors (NOT all....most are great) who seem to spend the majority of their time on social media bashing writers (and yes, some of the writers no doubt deserve their scorn). They seem to have a "do as I say, not as I do" mentality.

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    1. Thanks, JB. Yeah, it's a lesson I keep having to learn. And I'm right there with you on that double standard thing. Feh.

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  2. If I didn't trust venting in "public" (ie. the internet) before, I sure don't now! I tend to keep most things face to face and only with very close family I trust explicitly. I get to vent. They listen. I get over it. It's a win. At least for me. Conversely, when their buttons get pushed, I listen to them, too. But yeah, even if I write out a rant, if I want to save it, I print it, file it, and delete it off my computer. Paranoid? Yeah, just a little. LOL

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    1. I used to vent to the Kid, Silver, but then she left home and the limited contact we have is better spent on catching up than venting. (Although she knows she's welcome to vent to me anytime she needs it.) I'm good at writing out a rant and then deleting it - most of the time. That one just got away from me.

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  3. Now I'm very curious! As well, unless you have those agents on your Facebook, they generally can't see your status updates--just sayin'.

    I've had troubles not venting things online in the past. I tend to steer clear of politics, religion, and writerly things, which really doesn't leave much for me to complain about, actually... LOL.

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    1. LOL, Nat, exactly. Kind of limits your options for complaining.

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