As you may have noticed, it's November. The writer in your life may or may not be participating in the mad rush to get 50K words out by midnight on 11/30. If they are among the NaNo crazed, here are a few helpful hints to get you all through this month with your relationships intact and a minimum of bloodshed...
1) They aren't really talking to you. They're talking to the people in their heads. So when they suddenly say 'yeah, I could cut off his head', or 'that bitch needs to die', or 'I could hide the inner tube in the elephant's trunk' step away from the phone book. You don't need to look up the local men in white coats. And you don't need to be afraid... unless you see them rummaging in the garage for an axe. And even then, they may just be doing research on the weapon's heft and various battle positions.
2) Even when they are actually talking to you, they may not be entirely aware of what words are coming out of their mouths. You may ask them what they want for dinner, and they may think they're replying properly when in actuality they've just asked for a sticky-note fillet with a side of erasers.
3) There's only one appointment they have - 11/30. Any other scheduled activity can and will slip their minds, including doctor visits, soccer practice, football games, and that dinner at your boss's house you agreed to back in October because your writer assured you there was no way in hell they were subjecting themselves to NaNo this year.
4) No matter what other activity they might find themselves engaged in - cooking dinner, walking the dog, having sex - they are, in reality, thinking about what comes next in their book.
5) When they yell at you for something totally meaningless, they are in fact yelling at a) themselves for being behind, b) their characters for being uncooperative, c) the universe for making them a writer, d) themselves for allowing themselves to get sucked into this again, e) all of the above.
Please be patient. Your writer needs you. And they will snap back to normal once this madness is over...
Unless they're doing HoHoWriMo in December or they're still writing this book or they've decided to get the whole thing finished and edited by 1/1/14. Then you're screwed.
But hey, you're the one who chose to love a writer. ;o)