This morning as I was making my way through my blog list, seeing which posts might interest me, I saw the following post title: "Are you a serious author? Do you want to be successful?" (The link goes to a post about two spots left in a class or a conference or something in Denver...)
But that's not important. What's important is that the questions posed there in the title got me thinking.
Ya know, if someone had asked me those questions in 2004, I would've been adamant about YES for both. I was very serious about being a successful, published, wildly acclaimed author.
If someone had asked me those same questions a few years later, I would've looked at them like they were stupid and said "Well, duh. You think I'm doing all this for my health?"
Well, let's face it folks, I'm tired. It's damn hard to continue to maintain that level of seriousness and commitment after 9.5 years of this. Unmet expectations wear a gal down. Hell, even my husband has stopped talking in terms of 'when you get published'. When I finished rewriting that last book, we were both like 'well, that's nice, when's dinner'.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still committed to writing. I still want to be published. But after beating my head on a wall umpteen times, it doesn't feel as crucial as it used to.
And also don't get me wrong, if I ever saw any glimmer of a chance that I could be published, I would become as serious as I used to be and the drive would come back. I know that for certain. Whether that ever becomes a reality is what isn't so certain.
How about you? Are you a serious author? Do you want to be successful? How crucial is it for you now?