Ergo, I write.
Huge thanks to B.E. for inviting me to share my thoughts here today.
That’s a quote I shared on my blog the other week. Like many I love quotes. But those words of Eleanor Roosevelt are especially dear to me. Probably because of the host of things I think I can’t do. Trust me, there’s a list around here somewhere. Doubt and I are old friends.
I love writing. Since elementary school I’ve harbored dreams of being a writer. But those dreams came with some serious doubts about my ability to actually pull it off. Not smart enough. Not educated enough. I tried it, what I wrote sucked. It certainly didn’t read like any book I wanted to read. I was never going to be a writer. Those doubts opened the door to all kinds of excuses. No time. Don’t know where to start. Yada, yada.
Then three things happened and it all started with a joke.
You know the one… about the man waiting on the roof of the house praying to be rescued from the flooding river? He gets off the roof or he drowns. Meanwhile, rescue does come in the form of a boat and a helicopter. Both of which the man refuses. He is waiting for the hand of God to reach down and save him.
The obvious happens, he drowns. In Heaven he asks God why he didn’t save him. God replies, “I sent you a boat and a helicopter, what more did you want?”
I heard that joke in church one day. I chuckled and thought what an idiot. No one could be that stupid. For some reason I remembered it. It would pop into my mind at odd times. And then one day I understood.
I was the idiot. It was a humbling revelation, let me tell you.
I had the time. I had a computer. Most certainly I was in the possession of a pen and some paper. Ideas weren’t the issue. What to write was a given. The support had always been there from family and friends. But I was in denial about my fear. I needed to own up to my insecurities and my misconceptions. I wanted writing to be easy. For the process to be as natural as breathing. For the words to flow like ink. From pen to paper to bookstore.
Um, yeah. I know. Not the way it works. Letting go of those unrealistic expectations was a relief. It also left me with no more excuses.
Then I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I should frame that book and hang it up in my office. Unfortunately, I lent it to someone and never get it back. I hope they got as much out of it as I did. There was one particular quote that resonated with me.
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” The Alchemist, Page 23, by Paulo Coelho
And that’s exactly what I needed to believe. That the universe is behind me. Supporting me and wanting it for me. I mean, come on, who can resist channeling the power of the UNIVERSE. And, oh boy, I wanted it. Still do. So bad I can taste it.
So, I resolved to make a serious attempt at being a writer. To learn how to do it right. To start.
The third thing? I’m one of those people that needs to be part of a flock. Member of my church, member of a book club, former PTA member, various other groups, etc. and so on. You get the picture. So, I joined a writing group. It was the best decision I ever made. I learn stuff about writing. Where other people, just like me, are learning the ins and outs of writing. We talk about writing. Slowly, my confidence grew. More learning ensued.
My debut romantic suspense released on June 1, 2012. It took me four years, give or take, to write, rewrite, revise, and polish just over 65,000 words. But I did it. Not because my fears evaporated, but because I outfitted myself with the tools and the belief I could beat them back.
Ergo, I write.
I grew up on a farm in the middle of Canada's breadbasket. Under the canopy of crisp blue prairie skies I read books. Lots and lots of books. Occasionally, I picked up a pen and paper or tapped out a few meagre pages of a story on a keyboard and dreamed of becoming a writer when I grew up. One day the inevitable happened and I knew without question the time was right. What to write was never the issue - romance and the gut wrenching journey towards forever.
Website and Blog: karyngood.com